VMI Cadet. April 1, 1989

              Beef's Cakes Pages 4-5
m^rsir&Mti
wouldn't let my kid read that damn newspaper'
Volume V2 Keg Virginia Mental Institute, Lexington, Virginia April 1,1989 NUMBER 20
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Cadet Editor Terrorizes VMI!!
In an unprecedented nx>ve for
power, the Editor-in-Chief of
the VMI Cadet refused to resign
his position to the newly ap-pointed
E.I.C. this week.
After barricading himself in
the Cadet office, David Royer
the newspaper's current E.I.C.
cited professional as well as ar-tistic
reasons for not relin-quishing
his post. "This
newspaper is mine, all mine,"
Royer shouted from behind clos-ed
doors.
Royer seized control of the
Cadet office at the close of busi-ness
on Thursday night just as
this issue was about to go to
press. Staff members were
aware of Royer's unusual
behavior during the week,
sources said, but were unsuspec-ting
of his intentions.
"I thought he was just getting
emotional since this was his last
week as E.I.C.," said Eric
Buchanan, Associate Editor, and
Royer's right hand man. "David
really brought this paper
along," said Buchanan. "Once
it was just a filthy propagandistic
rag and now it's just a rag. It's
easy to see how such an attach-ment
could have grown," he
added.
During the lay-out on Thurs-day
night, Royer began to stack
literally hundreds of back issues
of the Cadet around his own of-fice.
It wasn't until he had
formed a sort of "bunker" that
he began to let his intentions be
known.
"At first, he told me that he
was taking inventory," said Bob
Spieldenner, Senior Consulting
Editor for the Cadet. "Then the
next thing I know, he's hunched
over a stack of Parent's Week-end
issues (VNfl's first 16 page
paper), pointing an M-14 rifle at
all of us (the Cadet stafO.
Royer forced the entire staff to
strip down out of their uniforms
and write "traitor" on each
other's chests with indelible
marker. Afterwards, he moved
the staff into the concourse, clos-ing
and bolting the door behind
them. The staff members, who
were without their clothes,
sprinted to the safety of their
rooms.
In an ingenious effort to make
his demands known, Royer
tapped into the barracks inter-com
system and began to address
the Corps and administration.
"First, let me say that I am in
charge and will remain in
charge," shouted Royer in a
gruff voice. "If all of my
demands are met," he con-tinued,
"everyone will continue
to receive the Cadet. But if there
is no cooperation, I will stop the
presses."
Royer said that he was disap-pointed
with the administrations
attempts to dilute the truth and
bring about shame and scandal
for the student run newspaper.
He said that the rumors cir-culated
about Beef Diesel by
Col. Leroy Hammond were
totally unfounded and absurd.
Royer then turned his attack
on his own staff. He said they
were not worthy of having him
as their E.I.C., but that he felt it
was his duty, nonetheless, to
deliver quality journalism to the
VMI community. Royer fiirther
stated that their was no one
qualified to take over his seat.
Finally, Royer stated his
demands. Among them were that
VMI become a kinder and
gentler institute. "I'm tired of
all this military junk and guns
and crap," he shouted. Royer,
who has long been suspected of
being a liberal, Jane Fonda type.
See ROVER
(continued on page 7)
Knapp Exposed
In Supe Scam
On Tuesday, March 28, I'he
Attorney from the Com-monwealth
of Virginia announc-ed
an indictment on Major Gen-eral
John W. Knapp, acting
superintendent of VMI.
"Virginia Bureai of Investiga-tion
agents acted as represen-tatives
for members of VMI
Board of Visitors. In a small ho-tel
in the town of Buena Vista
these agents accepted large
bundles of cash from Colonel
Leroy Hammond, Knapp's
alleged go between," stated a
spokeswoman for the Com-monwealth's
Attorney's office.
Agents arrested Hammond at
the Barnes Motel, surprising
him. Hammond strongly denied
any knowledge of wrongdoing.
"I was only following orders,"
he cried.
Knapp was arrested in his
home on the VMI campus. He
National News:
was later charged before a
magistrate in Richmond.
The charges read, "Bribing
state officials in order to insure a
permanent position as
superi ntendent of V Ml."
Knapp pleaded, "not guilty."
"I thought the money was go-ing
to fiind the organization to
insure that females would not be
allowed to enter VMI." Accor-ding
to a spokesman for the VMI
Alumni Association, the
organization is called. No Ob-noxious
Females In School
Here(NOnSH).
Knapp's wife told reporters,
"I can't believe he'd contribute
to that organization. He's told
me time and again how much
kinder and gentler VMI would
be with girl cadets."
Evidence against Knapp is
See KNAPP
(continued on page 7)
Presidential Puppies Piddle
—Former President Ronald
Reagan stunned the nation when
he took the stand this week in the
trial of U. Col. Oliver North.
Testifying for the defense, Mr.
Reagan said North was really not
at fault for the Iran-Contra
fiasco. Mr. Reagan said the
whole affair could be blamed on
a high-ranking White House ad-viser
who has remained uniden-tified
as yet. Calling the mystery
adviser "Mr. Bonzo," Reagan
asserted that the very idea was
his, and North was really just a
"fall guy." Reagan then cracked
under cross-examination and
was carried from the courtroom
on a stretcher. He was heard
muttering something about "bad
karma," but was quickly
sedated.
—The Presidential Puppies
made their first national press
appearance this week. In a photo
session on the lawn of the White
House, the 2-week-old pups
nearly caused an international
incident by soiling the Ugandan
Ambassador's trousers. The
accident was laughed off by
President Bush, who explained
that the ambassador's fez had
caused the dogs to mistake him
for a fire hydrant.
SeeNAT'L. NEWS
(continued on page 3)
Inside:
Kurtz spreads
Steroid use in Band
Company
Jasinski Trial
Soft Corps pg. 4,5
Real News pg. 8